Selling isn't confined to work

Unless you're single and/or have no parents or siblings, you need to interact with family members. In order to get anything done talking is not enough: you need to sell, of which negotiation, and knowing how to close, are integral.

Talk really is cheap. Words do slide off people like water off a ducks back. And to me words = facts.

We hear so many words (read facts!) throughout the course of our lives we almost become de-sensitized to them.

As people though, we are swayed by arguments. And by arguments I mean the putting forth of pluses and minuses.

To put this into context, in order to "get" something, whatever that may be, we need to sell/talk/argue "benefits". The listener at home will be swayed by benefits - what's in it for him/her to give you what you want. The car salesperson calls this closing. At home we call this being smart. Sell benefits. And last week's benefits may not apply this week. In the old days this was known as knowing how to "push the right buttons".

Telling your child to do his/her homework because if they don't they won't get into college which means they won't get a job simply doesn't cut it. Pointing out that not doing their homework will ultimately mean no travel, no new clothes/shoes, no iPod, laptop, Flatscreen TV (or whatever technology will exist when they grow older), and no freedom to leave the boss they hate because they are stuck for life in the job they were lucky to get in the first place, will probably elicit a different response.

So even though you may not know it you are now selling!!

In a similar vein, negotiation (a discipline of the sales process) is not just relegated to the car yard. In order to "get" what you want/need from your husband/wife or kids you may well have to give something up.

Again, you are selling!!

Finally, when it looks like you are going to achieve your goal of getting what you want, ask for it!! Too many times we argue our point (professionally or otherwise) only to forget to ask if the person with whom we are interacting actually agrees with us. Unless you do this throughout the course of the interaction you are in no position to judge whether or not you are on the rightr track. If you are not getting positive feedback (read agreement) then you need to alter the course of your argument (read restart the selling process).

Sales as a profession probably ranks up there with being a lawyer or a traffic cop. But whether we agree with this or not we are actually all selling (or ought to be) in just about every aspect of our lives.

It makes sense then that knowing something (even a little) about the sales process ought to help us in our every day lives. As far as I am concerned the most practical, easy to read book about Salemanship is "How to Master the Art of Selling" by Tom Hopkins (no, I am not getting a commission from Tom or anyone else for that matter:-)). The reason I love this book is that it is a book for everyone and not just the professional salesperson.

So, the next time you need your husband's or wife's approval to do or buy something, think about what's in it for her to agree with you.